3. Donald Trump
Our big boy is feeling so left out.
Nothing in this universe is more targeted to getting under Donald Trump’s skin than multiple major television networks showing his direct competitor hosting large crowds that rival his. Nothing. He’d take waterboarding over that. And so he’s not doing great. To reclaim the attention, then, Trump called a press conference for himself to ramble about whatever. He argued that the crowd for his “Stop the Steal” rally on Jan. 6, 2021, was larger than the March on Washington in 1963. Needless to say, he was not asked to compare the disparate events but volunteered this theory on his own. Photos of the two are easy to compare because, in his words, it’s the “same real estate, same everything,” and if “you look at the picture of his crowd [and] my crowd, we actually had more people.” He then, in his infinite grace, said he was OK with people still believing (correctly) that the March on Washington was bigger than his precoup pep rally. “I’m OK with it because I liked Dr. Martin Luther King,” he said. He also told a story about nearly crashing in a helicopter with former San Francisco Mayor Willie Brown, which did not happen. Though he was once on a helicopter with former California Gov. Jerry Brown, which was not at risk of crashing. The only thing spiraling down is Trump.