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Wanda Dench, famously known as the “Thanksgiving Grandma,” had some tough personal news to share with her legion of fans — she’s been diagnosed with breast cancer at age 67.
The Arizona native, who went viral after a text mix-up over a Thanksgiving dinner led to a new friendship, announced her diagnosis on Wednesday, October 16, in a heartfelt post shared by her now-friend, Jamal Hinton, on X (formerly Twitter).
Turkey is the iconic bird served for Thanksgiving. Wanda Dench has been celebrating the holiday with Jamal Hilton since 2016. Fast forward to 2024, the ‘Thanksgiving Grandma’ shared some personal news through her new friend.
“Earlier this year I came down with bronchitis and had a CT scan to check out my lungs,” Dench’s message began. “That’s when a mass in my breast was detected and they suggested I get a mammogram and that verified I had breast cancer.”
Despite having no family history of cancer and prior negative mammograms, the diagnosis came as a shock. “Cancer does not run in my family and all the mammograms I had in the past were always negative,” she said.
The social media personality thought she was past the age of needing mammograms but has since learned otherwise. “In 2022, I turned 65 years old and I thought I would have my last mammogram and not have to think about it again,” she continued, adding, “But I was wrong.”
Dench went on to say that “After the shock wore off, I [met] with the most wonderful people at the Breast Cancer Center. Everyone was so kind, supportive and knowledgeable. My family and friends quickly came to my aid and have supported me through everything.”
Wrapping up her post, the beloved grandmother explained that she’s “learned a lot of life’s lessons through it all, but what I want to stress most of all is just because you may be older, we still have a life to live.” She continued, “After watching the Golden Bachelor last year that gave me hope that I could still find love in my senior years. So continue getting your checkups, and continue to live YOUR life!”
Support poured in quickly after Hinton posted the news.
“Much love to our grandma!” one person exclaimed.
“Omgggg🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💗💗💗💗💗💗 stay strong Wanda!” another said.
“Praying with you and for her. This story was one of beauty bro. I love how God worked in this and He’s still working. She will heal! 🙏🏾✌🏾,” chimed in a third.
For those out of the loop, Dench and Hinton’s friendship began in 2016 when Dench, attempting to text her grandson an invitation to Thanksgiving, mistakenly sent the message to Hinton — a stranger at the time. Their exchange quickly went viral after Hinton asked, “Can I still get a plate tho?” to which Dench replied, “Of course you can. That’s what grandma’s do…feed everyone.”
Since then, the pair have continued their Thanksgiving tradition annually, and according to Dench, this year will be no exception. “We still plan on getting together for Thanksgiving next month as we have every year.”
This story is part ofState of Emergencya Grist series exploring how climate disasters are impacting voting and politics.
The conspiracy theories started swirling even as the flood waters were rising: Hurricane Helene, the deadliest storm to strike the United States since Katrina in 2005, was created specifically to target Trump voters in crucial swing states. “Yes they can control the weather,” Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene, the far-right representative from Georgia, posted on X on Thursday. “It’s ridiculous for anyone to lie and say it can’t be done.”
Conspiracy theorist Alex Jones, best known for insisting the Sandy Hook school shooting was a hoax, released a video on X claiming the government aimed Helene at North Carolina. Why? To force people out of the region so it could mine the state’s large reserves of lithium, a key component in the batteries that power electric vehicles and store renewable energy. The video gleaned nearly a million views in three days.
Hundreds of keyboard conspiracists have taken to TikTok, X, Reddit, and other social media sites to say the Federal Emergency Management Administration is withholding critical supplies from stranded communities across the Southeast. “Just got down from the mountains delivering supplies,” someone with the username “RastaGuerilla” posted on X on September 30. “As crazy as it sounds FEMA is directly confiscating donated items and blocking volunteers from helping, kicking churches out of parking lots, etc.” The post received tens of thousands of likes, and similar messages from people claiming they were in the disaster zone have been racking up hundreds of thousands of views and reposts.
Search-and-rescue teams hike along the Broad River where North Carolina Route 9 used to be, in the aftermath of Hurricane Helene on October 2. Sean Rayford / Getty Images
There’s no saying what percentage of these bogus claims came from people actually in the areas devastated by Helene, let alone whether humans or bots spewed them. Regardless of who or what wrote them, the conspiracies are patently untrue. FEMA is not confiscating supplies. The Biden administration is not trying to kick people off of land it wants to mine for lithium. And the federal government most certainly cannot control the weather. To disaster researchers, the barrage of pointed conspiracies are further proof that conspiratorial thinking is becoming something of an epidemic.
“We’ve moved into a space where conspiratorial thinking has become mainstream,” said Rachel Goldwasser, who tracks far-right activity and disinformation at the Southern Poverty Law Center. “Every tinfoil hat out there that says the government controls the weather now feels validated because Marjorie Taylor Greene said so, too.”
Disasters invariably kick up a cloud of conspiracies aimed at casting doubt on government’s legitimacy — the dark corners of society have long typecast FEMA as a sinister, all-powerful boogeyman capable of the most outlandish and fiendish deeds. During the COVID-19 pandemic, conspiracists alleged that it was seizing medical supplies from hospitals and local governments. Similar rumors about FEMA and the Red Cross confiscating donations in Lāhainā ricocheted around the internet after the devastating wildfire in Hawaiʻi last year.
But experts told Grist that the storm’s proximity to Election Day has produced a toxic stew of conspiracies that reflect broader conversations about immigration, workplace inclusivity, and other hot-button issues that Republicans and conservative news outlets have sought to turn into cultural referendums ahead of November 5.
Debris from Hurricane Helene is seen in front of a home with a Trump 2024 campaign sign in Lake Lure, North Carolina. Allison Joyce / AFP via Getty Images
One popular theory littering online forums alleges that the government had directed money away from FEMA to fund programs for illegal immigrants. “FEMA spending over a billion dollars on illegals while they leave Americans stranded and without help is treasonous,” Tim Burchett, a Republican representative from Tennessee, said on X, without citing evidence. Another theory says the agency had prioritized diversity, equity, and inclusion, or DEI, training over disaster preparedness. Immigration, and to a lesser extent DEI, are the heart of former president Donald Trump’s re-election platform. (The former president took to Truth Social on Thursday to decry the Biden administration’s response as “the worst and most incompetently managed ‘storm,’ at the federal level,” before adding, “but their management of the border is worse!”)
“There was already a discourse around these issues and clearly there’s already people who are very concerned about them,” said Samantha Penta, a sociologist and expert on emergency management and homeland security at the University of Albany. “I’m not surprised that those concerns are being integrated into the discussion around Helene response.”
Some of the theories reflect some tiny facet of the truth. In his video, Jones cited a real government program from the 1960s called Project Stormfury as proof that the government had purposefully “seeded” the storm. The program, which explored the possibility of diminishing a hurricane’s strength by seeding it with silver iodide, ended in 1983.
Conspiracies alleging that FEMA is both absent from disaster relief efforts and confiscating supplies also contain a shred of truth based on a pervasive misconception of the role the agency plays in disaster relief. Many people believe it descends on a location with cases of water and pallets of food and armies of people with shovels and flashlights immediately after a disaster. But it is better described as a logistics coordination and check-writing organization. “You will never see someone in a FEMA jacket putting sandbags by a river bed,” Penta said. “That is not their job.”
One of its primary roles is to coordinate relief efforts and supply distribution with local and state officials and nonprofit agencies. FEMA typically discourages people from sending supplies or going into a disaster zone, not because it wants to keep aid from the people who need it, but because all those items and untrained volunteers simply get in the way and slow down relief efforts. That’s why states often echo FEMA’s calls to stay out of harm’s way and leave recovery efforts to those who know what they’re doing.
“The State of North Carolina is advising everyone NOT to travel into the affected region,” the North Carolina Business Emergency Operations Center said in an email on Thursday. “We have live communications and power cables on roadways providing essential resources to affected communities that must not be disturbed. We also have roadways uncleared.”
The federal Department of Transportation has placed temporary flight restrictions over parts of the southeast to prevent amateur drone operators and others from impeding rescue efforts, providing further fodder for those who insist the federal government is conspiring to prevent Good Samaritans from helping people in need. “Do not fly your drone near or around rescue and recovery efforts for Hurricane Helene,” the agency said in a post on X on Wednesday. “Interfering with emergency response operations impacts search and rescue operations on the ground.”
Vice President Kamala Harris, alongside Georgia Senator Jon Ossoff, speaks after surveying the damage from Hurricane Helene in Augusta, Georgia, on October 2.Brendan Smialowski / AFP via Getty Images
Former President Donald Trump after visiting a furniture store in Valdosta, Georgia, that was damaged during Hurricane Helene.Michael M. Santiago / Getty Images
It is true that in the immediate aftermath of the storm, which laid waste to a wide swath of six states, many people — particularly those in remote areas or those entirely cut off by flooding — were left to fend for themselves.
Joshua Hensley, an entrepreneur who lives in Asheville, has been driving across western North Carolina delivering supplies. “Most of the government involvement we’ve seen are Ospreys and helicopters flying over trying to get stuff in and trying to evacuate people,” he told Grist on Thursday via a Starlink satellite hotspot. “But as far as on the ground, I’ve been all over the place and it is almost entirely local.”
In the days before federal aid arrived, restaurants, breweries, and other establishments in Asheville took to providing water, medical care, and other assistance to residents. “All the employees and community members have been volunteering their time and energy,” said Mae Walker, a serviceworker who lives in the city. “Much more than any visible assistance from police or other city officials outside of power restoration.”
In the days following the storm, local pilots used the airport in Asheville as a distribution center to shuttle supplies to stranded communities and conduct search and rescue operations. But as the state and federal government’s vast disaster relief apparatus groaned into motion, their efforts became more of a hindrance than a help, and airport officials asked them to stop as the state took over such operations.
The misconception that the government is not responding to a disaster, and the bogus conspiracy theories that amplify such ideas, can have dangerous implications. The Southern Policy Law Center has heard credible reports that far-right militias and white supremacist organizations are moving into the region to provide assistance — and, if past disasters are any indication, drum up sympathy for their cause.
“The more people who believe that FEMA isn’t there, or that FEMA spent all its money on DEI or whatever, the more groups like militias believe they’re needed in those areas,” Goldwasser said. “They have their own agendas and goals that they’re trying to meet that supersede the needs of the people on the ground who need help.”
It’s easy to see how, in the chaotic hours and days after a disaster, people might think the government has abandoned residents of the afflicted areas. But the conspiracy theories sprouting up online, and the politicians and pundits cultivating their spread, obfuscate the truth, which is that disaster relief work is messy and, yes, often flawed. “FEMA is an institution built and run by humans,” Penta said. “It’s going to make mistakes and things are going to go poorly and they will get criticism for that.”
Such criticism is fair, even warranted. FEMA has been chronically underfunded for decades, a situation that will only grow worse as climate-fueled disasters become more common, more devastating, and more costly. Compounding the problem is the deepening polarization of American society, and a willingness by many people to see only the worst in the government and the people who work within it. The confluence of these two trends creates the fertile ground that allows conspiracy theories to flourish — and suggests that the flood of lies will continue to rise long after the water that inundated the Southeast recedes.
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A girl has provided a ‘existence-changing theory” to coach to dating, which entails emotional detachment out of your take care of interest, calling the theorem “laborious but wanted for me.”
A favored TikToker who goes by the take care of Abe Froman (@abefroman) voiced the thought, which has been coined the “allow them to theory” in a video which accrued 4.6 million views.
It is miles the postulate of detaching yourself from other peoples’ actions in an try to relinquish any emotion over how they desire to behave.
Two dating consultants, Sabrina Alexis Bendory from New York City and Sabrina Zohar from Los Angeles, gave Newsweek their loads of thoughts on what this “theory” ability. Bendory highlighted the liberating belief of letting other of us’s thoughts and behaviors plod. Zohar refuted the principle, announcing it is pointless theorization of human behavior and of studying to beat discomfort and fear. She in its place advocates for seeing of us for how they treat you.
What’s the theorem?
Relationship coach and author Bendory retraced the origins of the theorem to Mel Robbins, a podcaster and author, describing it as a liberating procedure to steal control of your take care of existence.
Robbins shared the “allow them to utter” on her podcast in May well perhaps maybe honest 2023, which is basically letting of us for your existence discontinue what they need, without seeing their actions as a reflection of yourself.
Abe Froman acknowledged on TikTok: “The ‘allow them to theory’ is basically the most easy theory to coach in existence.
“Because what you spot by experiences is that you just would possibly perhaps perhaps be in a inform to no longer at all plan any one discontinue the relaxation that they set up no longer wanna discontinue.
“And of us will always default to their own desires, their own desires, their own patterns of behavior.”
A pair are seen on this stock image. A girl has provided a ‘existence-changing theory’ to coach to dating, which entails emotional detachment out of your take care of interest.nortonrsx/iStock / Getty Photos Plus
The TikToker explained the mindset utter as accepting you can no longer trade how other of us treat you and to free yourself from overthinking and attaching your self charge to how others treat you.
She added: “The sooner you are in a inform to devour that and free yourself from overthinking and believing that you just devour more energy over of us than you discontinue, is in case you in fact come by to like relationships.”
Detachment isn’t any longer about no longer caring for any individual or loving them alternatively it is accepting you devour got energy over no one but yourself and divorcing yourself from expectations you devour got of others, she acknowledged.
Bendory is of the same opinion with the belief and informed Newsweek: “That is the topic so many folks devour—we elaborate other of us’s behavior as this ability that one thing about us.
“If a guy ghosts you…it should always mean you are an unworthy loser and are going to total up alone. In case your traffic don’t invite you out, then it should always mean they set up no longer really such as you.”
A stock image shows a girl taking a look wretched. Relationship coach Sabrina Alexis Bendory informed Newsweek we can also aloof no longer internalize how others behave.fizkes/iStock / Getty Photos Plus
The dating coach informed that in existence you would possibly also aloof steal total accountability for things internal your control and let plod of fear about the total lot that falls open air of that realm.
She acknowledged: “As soon as you attach your sense of charge to outcomes, you are going to reside existence at the mercy of different of us. As soon as you correct allow them to discontinue what they need and simplest steal accountability for yourself, you are going to develop.”
Bendory, who’s now married, seemed help at her own dating experiences when she was desirous to come by a man she loved to love her help and a friend informed her “you would possibly perhaps perhaps be in a inform to’t fetch them all.”
“It hit me love a gut punch…but I also was in a inform to correct let plod after that. It wasn’t private, there was no fatal flaw internal me. He wasn’t and I correct let that be what it was,” she added.
Zohar, a dating coach and podcaster, does no longer believe the categorization of “permitting them to” as a theory.
As a exchange, she informed that of us learn the procedure to govern their particular person anxieties and sight of us for how they treat you rather than how you envision them.
She informed Newsweek: “My inform is that everyone loves the self-identification—the total lot is a theory, it is buttoned up with a bow.
“Every thing has to devour one thing to plan them really feel more belonged. At the stay of the day there isn’t any theory right here about this, right here’s correct human behavior and psychology, this total ‘allow them to theory,’ what’s the theorem at the help of it?”
Whereas debunking the theorization of this utter, she informed that of us discontinue making an try to trade others and to sight of us for how they treat you.
“Let of us demonstrate up as they’re, so that you just would possibly perhaps perhaps be in a inform to also demonstrate up as you are—after which every and each of you would possibly perhaps perhaps be in a inform to resolve at the same time as you happen to reciprocate and talk and need the identical things in existence, and each and each of you would possibly perhaps perhaps be in a inform to resolve at the same time as you happen to resolve one yet any other,” she acknowledged.
In most cases when of us become linked and come by caught up in the anxious whirlwind of being enamored they set up no longer discontinue to sight the truth of the person they love, she added.
“Manage your individual fear and learn to sit down in discomfort so that you just would possibly perhaps perhaps be in a inform to learn the procedure other of us demonstrate up authentically and allow them to discontinue so,” she acknowledged.
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